There is a whole book of the Bible devoted to the love between a bride and her bridegroom, and most Christian couples have never read it together. Some find it awkward. Others were taught to skip straight past the imagery to a spiritual meaning. The Song of Songs deserves better than that, and so does your marriage.
Two ways the church has read the Song
For much of church history, many interpreters read the Song primarily as an allegory of Christ and His church. The Puritan James Durham's Clavis Cantici, published in 1668, read nearly every line as a picture of the believer's communion with the Savior. That reading has real devotional richness, and it isn't foreign to Scripture. Paul himself says of marriage, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).
Many Reformed scholars today emphasize that the Song is first a poem about real love between a real husband and wife. Its language is too earthy and specific to be only a code for something else. The bride notices her beloved's arms and his voice. The groom praises his bride from head to toe. They long for each other, lose each other, and find each other again.
The good news is that couples don't have to choose. The Song celebrates married love as a good gift in its own right, and that very love points beyond itself to the greater love of Christ for His bride. Reading the Song as a couple honors both.
What the Song teaches about married love
Desire is good. The Song opens with the bride's longing for her beloved, and the poem never treats that longing as something to be ashamed of. Within marriage, wanting your spouse is not a weakness to manage. It is part of God's design.
Words matter. Much of the Song is made of praise spoken from one lover to the other. They describe what they admire in each other slowly and specifically. Many couples go years without hearing that kind of affirmation, and the Song invites them to start.
Exclusivity makes it safe. The bride is called “a garden locked” (Song of Songs 4:12), kept for her husband alone. That closed garden is what makes it possible for her to open it freely to him. Faithfulness and delight are not opposites; the first makes room for the second.
Love has to be guarded. The Song warns about “the little foxes that spoil the vineyards” (2:15). Small neglects, small resentments, and small distractions can quietly ruin what was once in bloom.
Love is strong. Near the end comes one of the most beautiful lines in all of Scripture:
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death.Song of Songs 8:6
Covenant love is not fragile romance. It is meant to hold on through every season.
How to read it together
The Song is only eight chapters long, so it reads well over a week or two. A simple approach:
- Read one chapter aloud together, taking turns between the bride's and the groom's lines.
- Each name one image or line that stood out to you and why.
- Ask each other one honest question the passage raises, such as what makes you feel cherished or what little foxes are getting into your vineyard.
- Close by thanking God for your spouse and for the gift of married love.
You don't need a commentary to begin, though a good one can help with the poetry and the ancient imagery. What you need most is a willingness to let God's Word shape how you see each other.
A closing word
The bride's refrain sums up the whole book: “My beloved is mine, and I am his” (Song of Songs 2:16). That is the voice of a woman who is secure, delighted, and fully given to her husband. God put those words in the Bible so that married couples could learn to speak them too.
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